The Best Sales Pitch Ever

One of the greatest joys of owning a small firm is getting to know the friendly folks at LexisNexis and Westlaw. They often call to see how I’m doing or drop by to say hello, and they never forget to keep me abreast of the latest products from their companies.

I was talking with a friend yesterday, and somehow Lawyers.com came up. Suddenly, I remembered a fantastic sales pitch I got several months ago from my local LexisNexis representative. He was trying to convince me to pay LexisNexis, which owns Lawyers.com and martindale.com, to list my firm on those sites and do the website and search engine optimization for my firm.

Admittedly, I was a little hard on him. I asked him some tough questions about why I would want to pay to be listed someplace where I can’t possibly get the highest rating simply by virtue of the fact I haven’t been practicing for a long time. I also asked him why I would go with them when every other small firm I know also goes with them. What would set me apart? I was even a little mean when he said his web guy couldn’t find me using Google. I wasn’t exactly eager to hire someone who has trouble using Google. I’m not tough to find.

Anyway, when he started talking price, the actual web guy called him. “Hey, we were just talking about you,” the representative said, “what a coincidence!” I too was amazed by such a miraculous coincidence, as it turned out the web guy just happened to call at exactly the right time to tell me about a once-in-a-lifetime, last-minute deal.

When the web guy, who was now on speakerphone, told the representative he could now do it for X dollars, the representative blurted out “no way!” with perfectly feigned disbelief. “That’s an unbelievable price! Can you really do it for so little?” The web guy said he could, and the representative leaned in as if to tell me a secret, explaining it was normally three times as much. “How long can you afford to do it for that little?” The web guy responded, “not for long, I can’t keep a deal like this open forever.” The representative looked at me with a gaze that was half “is he buying this?” and half “please-please-please I need a sale!”

Needless to say, I didn’t sign up. I am, however, very grateful for the fact they gave me an opportunity to witness what I have to say was the best sales pitch I’ve ever seen. It made me wonder if LexisNexis hired a writer from The Office just for my amusement.