DUI & Criminal Attorneys in Phoenix, Tempe, AZ » Uncategorized

What’s Wrong With Us?

I spent the weekend volunteering at a biker rally. While I was at the registration area one evening, a call came in about a woman falling in a culvert. I tagged along to assist a friend who used to work in an emergency room. As we approached, we saw the woman laying on her back with a crowd surrounding her. She was asking for her husband and had obviously injured her leg. The people helping her thought it was broken. It was swollen, and she was unable to walk. When her husband arrived, she demanded he carry her back to their tent. She begged everyone not to call an ambulance because she couldn’t afford it. They honored her wishes. I couldn’t help but marvel … Read entire article »

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Motorcycle v. Smart Phone

It turns out that Samsung makes a seriously durable phone. Here’s a Droid Charge, scuffed after some idiot left it on the right pannier of an enduro motorcycle and drove off at highway speeds: Believe it or not, the phone still works. Call quality is pretty good, and the screen works great, though the little hardware buttons at the bottom are a bit tough to press. In case you’re wondering, those rubber bands came off of a bouquet of grocery store broccoli crowns and actually hold the phone together quite nicely. And yes, this post has nothing to do with the practice of law. … Read entire article »

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Lessons From Dave

I’ve got a dog named Dave. I tell people he’s named David but they can call him Dave for short. He came with that name, but it’s perfect. He’s perfect. Dave is doing his favorite thing in the world right now. Twenty seconds ago he was running laps in the backyard chasing invisible birds. Now, he’s probably digging a hole to sit in. Or he’s pooping someplace that’ll make it difficult for me to pick up in a few days. Regardless, whatever he is actually doing right now is his favorite thing in the world. Nevermind what I said before. Dave likes to sit at the backdoor desperately begging to be let outside. Outside is his favorite thing in the world. If … Read entire article »

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Screening Comments

The blog was getting way too much spam. Now, people leaving comments have to answer a simple math problem. It’s usually something like 1 + 1 = ?, but it sometimes involves subtraction and even multiplication. Not tough stuff. Someone recently sent me an email complaining about the math. He (or she, possibly, as the email address was quite androgynous) apparently had a brilliant comment but couldn’t get past the equation. He sent an email requesting that the administrator post the comment for him because he was vexed by the difficult calculations necessary to offer his two cents. I refused to do it. How good a comment could it be, after all, if the author struggled to complete some basic arithmetic? He didn’t even think … Read entire article »

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Blurring Lines

I picked a jury last week. During voir dire, I noted something that struck me as particularly interesting. I wondered if there was much to read into it. I noticed most members of the panel drew no distinction between law enforcement experience and military service. When the judge asked the jurors if they or any close friends or family had any law enforcement experience, most people who answered in the affirmative did so because they had friends or family in the armed forces. My impression was that they viewed the two as being the same because they view both soldiers and cops as protectors. I found the lack of distinction troubling. Maybe it’s the libertarian in me, but I’m bothered by the increasing police militarization in this country. … Read entire article »

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And in Other News, Our Tigers Were Given a Special Summer Treat of Food and Water

A little segment on the news at the gym caught my eye earlier this morning. It was about some polar bears at some zoo getting a “special summer treat” of snow. The contrived whimsy of the situation was painful. They showed footage of the bears rubbing themselves in the snow as delighted zoo patrons watched them with big smiles. Moments earlier, another segment covered the horror of some animal being saved at the last minute after being left in a hot car by some monster of an owner. I understand that polar bears don’t have to be in the snow to survive. I also understand that animals die far too frequently, especially in Phoenix, because their irresponsible owners left them in the car in the heat. … Read entire article »

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A Letter to Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu

Dear Sheriff: I am sure you have heard by now about Sheriff Joe’s recent high-publicity raid in Laveen. In a valiant effort to stop the unlawful raising of chickens for cockfighting, surely the single most serious problem affecting the good citizens of Maricopa County, your neighboring sheriff rolled out his prized tank and showed the community that such animal cruelty will not be tolerated by terrorizing a neighborhood and euthanizing 115 birds. Sheriff Joe’s impressive display of force, which included numerous SWAT officers in full gear, armored vehicles, and a bomb robot, is just the kind of thing your office should do to remind the good people of Pinal County that your office loves animals too. Hopefully I do not have to remind you about the recent frog-fucker debacle in … Read entire article »

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Sexy Sax Man

I have some great clients, but my case load would really be a lot better if I got to defend this guy too: Sax Man Serenade Prank – Watch more Funny Videos H/T Kris … Read entire article »

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Introducing Arizona's Newest Criminal Defendant…

It’s me! My alleged crime? I’m charged with committing a class 2 misdemeanor in violation of A.R.S. 28-3480. If you’re too lazy to click on the link, it’s the law against operating a motor vehicle in violation of a driver license restriction. The restriction? My license, which expires in 2046 and which I received prior to undergoing eye surgery that left me with better-than-20/20-vision, supposedly restricts me from driving without corrective lenses or glasses. I’m facing four months of jail, two years of probation, and $750 in fines plus an 84% surcharge. The officer involved? One I’ve interviewed before in relation to a case. Coincidence? Who knows! Sometimes I wonder about my decision to live and work in this … Read entire article »

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Movin' On Up

I haven’t had much time to write these past few weeks due in large part to the fact the firm has moved. We are now located in Tempe, much closer to Phoenix and most of the courts where we usually practice. The move actually happened on the 1st of January, more or less, but the transition was still happening until this week. For all I know, it may well continue happening for weeks to come. I say that because it turns out Brown & Little, P.L.C., is the first business in the history of the world to move offices. I know it seems implausible, but I am certain you’d agree if you got to see how more or less every vendor involved dealt with the logistics … Read entire article »

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