Good Times in Municipal Court

I practice in a number of different courts throughout Arizona. Although I focus on felonies, which means I’m usually in superior court, I handle enough misdemeanors to regularly visit some of the state’s smaller municipal and justice of the peace courts. Sometimes it can be an amusing experience.

Recently, I had to do a hearing in a very small municipal court which had just moved locations. As I pulled up to the new court building, I thought I was in the wrong place. I would describe the court as being in a strip mall. At best, it could be called a professional complex. Regardless, you could have put a Quiznos next to the court and it would’ve fit right in.

I walked up to the court and saw it was identified only by a piece of white printer paper taped to the window. I knew I was in for a treat. I entered and walked to what they told me was the main courtroom. Everything in the facility seemed to be marked only with white printer paper taped to doors and windows, and the main courtroom was a medium-sized conference room with a number of stacking chairs set up in the middle. They all faced the front of the court, where the judge sat at the middle of a long table. There were people seated to his left and right. The court must have been having a food drive, as there were canned goods and boxes of mac and cheese stacked everywhere. Most of the chairs were filled with defendants waiting for their hearings, and a few people were just randomly standing around. In the back of the courtroom was a law enforcement officer seated at a folding table.

I handed my client’s plea agreement to the clerk and took a seat. Shortly after I sat down, an attorney walked in. The judge immediately recognized him, and the two had a very jovial conversation in front of everyone. In a mix of Spanish and English, they loudly discussed how they’d been and the state of their respective careers. I vaguely recall the discussion included mention of a fishing trip and the size of a trout one of them caught. The judge immediately called that lawyer’s case.

When the judge got around to my client’s case, my client and I went to the podium, which couldn’t have been more than a few feet from the judge. We went through with the change of plea, and after the judge imposed sentence, he directed us to go to the bailiff. I asked where the bailiff was, and the judge pointed to his right. My client and I took a couple of steps and stood in front of the bailiff, still just a few feet from the judge. The bailiff had my client fill out some paperwork. It was tough to hear what she was saying because we were so close to the judge, who was doing another change of plea. I think she might have even asked him to be quiet for a second so we could finish up.

Once my client signed everything, the bailiff picked up a walkie-talkie and said something to the effect of “psst, Jodie, you ready for this guy?” I’m just guessing at names, as I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but you get the point. I heard what the bailiff was saying come through on the walkie-talkie of the lady on the other side of the judge. She was about six feet away. After shuffling around some papers, Jodie said “psst, sure, send him on over.” I could hear it as well directly from her mouth as I could from the bailiff’s walkie-talkie. The bailiff responded, “psst, okay.” My client and I took a few steps to our right, awkwardly passing in front of the judge, who was still in the middle of the change of plea. The bailiff passed the paperwork to the judge, who passed it on to Jodie.

We stood in front of Jodie, where it was still difficult to hear over the judge. Jodie filled in a couple of blanks and handed the paperwork back to my client. She picked up her walkie-talkie and said “psst, they’re ready for you Jim.” There was no response, so Jodie told us to have a seat. For the next few minutes, she tried to get Jim multiple times on the walkie-talkie without success. Eventually, she tried and I could hear her echo on the walkie-talkie of the officer who was seated at the table in the back. I guess he forgot to turn his on earlier. Jim responded “psst, yeah, you can send them back.” Again, you could hear him speaking louder than you could hear him on Jodie’s walkie-talkie. I got up and started to head toward Jim, but Jodie motioned for me to approach. I went up to her, and she said “Jim’s in the back.” She motioned to Jim, who waved. “He’ll take care of you from now on.” Uh, thanks.

We walked to the back of the room and had a seat at the folding table, where Jim went over the details of probation and the payment of fines with my client. Sitting there, I watched the court continue to operate in the same manner. Every defendant scooted over from the judge to the bailiff after his or her hearing. The bailiff contacted Jodie via walkie-talkie after she was finished. Every set of papers got passed down the line, with the judge as the middle man. The defendant then had to walk in front of the judge, who was invariably in the middle of the next case, to speak with Jodie. Jodie then walkie-talkie’d Jim, who told them he was busy. Jodie had to be able to see Jim. She had waved to him. We saw him when when we were talking to her. We could see her.

I left assuming that the setup was temporary, but part of me hoped it wasn’t. I felt like I was in a scene from South Park, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they bought the walkie-talkies just for that purpose. Someone deserves an award for that idea. I’m thinking about swinging by sometime just to watch court again. If only I had the time.