We Can’t All Be Weiners

I could make childish jokes about congressman Anthony Weiner all day long. With a name like “Weiner,” it takes every ounce of control I have not to go to just go to town writing pun after pun about the poor guy’s love of sending x-rated photos of himself. Maturity has never been my strong point. I still laugh inside seeing the ubiquitious word “Camelback” here in the valley of the sun because it’s close to the word “cameltoe.” Yeah, that’s the level of sophistication you’re dealing with here, readers.

I’m going to exercise some self-control, luckily, and write more than bad jokes. You see, representative Weiner wants to take leave from the house of representatives. I’m disgusted, and it isn’t because of the photos. It’s because other prominent politicians, like “Democratic leader” Nancy Pelosi, are saying things like this snippet from the article linked to above: “Weiner ‘has the love of his family, the confidence of his constituents and the recognition that he needs help. I urge Congressman Weiner to seek that help without the pressures of being a member of Congress.'” Ugh.

Not only is my mind constantly in the gutter, but I’m apparently not very compassionate either. I just don’t have it in me to feel bad for a guy who votes for his own pay-raises, makes a bigger salary with better perks than anyone I know who actually does something useful for society, and who seems to be able to merely “take leave” from his cushy taxpayer-funded job after getting busted for disseminating pictures of his junk. I can’t help but think that, if he was your average American, after this kind of public debacle, he wouldn’t have the love of his family or the confidence of anyone save those lucky ladies who got to check out the goods and liked what they saw.

It’s two different worlds for the rulers and the ruled. If I was publicly humiliated after doing something like that, I’m pretty sure my clients wouldn’t take too kindly to me taking a few months to find myself. I’d be going to court and doing my job despite the snickers from everyone who knew. If necessary, I’d be finding myself when I wasn’t taking care of my other responsibilities. Everyone but the ruling elite would probably find themselves in the same situation.

Why do we put up with this? Personally, I don’t care what he sent or to whom he sent it so long as he continued to do his job. I do care about one of the luckiest men on earth being able to use a ridiculous sex scandal as an excuse to take a vacation from his great job to work on what the lemmings who elected him probably believe to be a character flaw. Try that the next time you do something stupid and wish you could avoid showing your face to people that know. It makes me sick, but then again, maybe I just have Weiner envy.